Women Against Each Other : Understanding of the Benevolent Sexism

"মাইকী হয় মাইকী নিচিনাকে থাকিবি"

(A woman must act as a woman)

In today's world full of feminists, it can be puzzling to meet everyday women who don't back the gender equality movement, but they are definitely there. Even though patriarchy oppresses, women of all ages and from all socio-economic, racial and national backgrounds, despite their shared experiences of oppression, women fail to stand in solidarity against patriarchy.

Instead, several women legitimise and endorse patriarchal beliefs and play out sexism against other women just like men do. As such, these acts primarily rooted in internalized patriarchy, not only strengthen this oppressive structure, but also as a result pit them against other women as enemies.

Women's relationship to each other is complex since they do not see themselves as a homogenous group. Despite the shared disadvantages that all women face because of their sex in context of compressing of opportunities or freedoms and subjection to acts of gender-based violence, they fail to associate along this common thread. On the contrary, some women display unquestioning acceptance to male supremacy or patriarchal values and voluntarily preoccupy themselves with self limiting social roles. As a result, they believe that their only option is to turn to the men for protection and financial security which prompts them to adopt a world view where men are obligated to cherish and protect women.

We are all familiar with hostile sexism in the way it punishes objection. Women who challenge male supremacy and dominance or break patriarchal conventions by being assertive, aggressive and ambitious in their actions and choices are pinned down by acts that are hostile. Alternatively, it shames and renders women unsuitable for marriage. Therefore, hostile sexism breaks women's courage and silences them into submission. By inspiring fear, hostile sexism not only punishes the woman in question, it also defines limits for other women.

However, benevolent sexism is a subtle, soft and sugar-coated form of sexism. Women who are conditioned by benevolent sexism do not see themselves as being discriminated against in any way or as subjects of patriarchal practices. Under the illusion of privilege, such women often find themselves guarding and endorsing patriarchal beliefs and play out hostile sexism against other women just like men do by shaming, stigmatising and victim blaming other women who defy male authority or traditional gender roles. They get conditioned into becoming allies with the system that grants benefits on them for being a "good girl".

Further, by endorsing women as morally superior, excellent caregivers but uncompetitive and poor decision makers, benevolent sexism induces them to voluntarily throw themselves into tasks that engage these qualities. This conditioning becomes the foundation setup of women's dependence on men for economic needs.

As long as women continue to be conditioned by benevolent sexism, the fight against gender inequality and injustice will continue to remain in force for the lack of solidarity and a univocal voice for emancipation from all women standing together. A parallel and stronger world by feminist forces that encourages women to see beyond what is served to them is how we could deconstruct and diminish the effects of benevolent sexism.